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Laurance Wieder


Black Elk Speaks

The only state I've never been in is Alaska. When it comes to restaurants, I'm not an adventurous kind of guy. I don't take potluck when it comes to food. What? No potatoes? You know me. I'm not a diplomat. Never eat a hamburger in a restaurant: you don't know what you're eating. The best watch in the world is the IWC. Patek Phillipe is also a good watch. You should have gone with me to get that. (or) You should have told me what you wanted to do. I could have gotten you a better deal. A yellow diamond is worth more than a white diamond. Live and be well, your mother will never have to worry about her security again. If I should die tomorrow. Don't worry, you're not gonna get stiffed. I just want to park it myself. There's a very good delicatessen in Los Angeles. That landlord, if I had to do business with him, I'd watch out for the fillings in my back teeth. Contractors will rob you blind. You know what's wrong with America? The unions and the blacks. I went to my attorney's office just the other day, and he put me in the way of what may turn out to be a real sweet deal. I should have word on that definitely by Thursday. This could prove very advantageous to us all. What we do for your sister, we will do for you. You know mother and me, whatever we do, it's no strings attached. I don't want to sound negative, but I always try to think of the worst thing that could happen. That's only realistic. Every time mother and I have made a plan ahead of time in the last ten years, something has happened, and we had to cancel. Sometimes we get away on the spur of the moment. I've had it every way you can imagine: standing up, sitting down, standing on my head. But let me tell you, I didn't know what happiness was until I met your mother. Mother didn't sleep a wink last night. Did you phone this morning? There were three calls on the machine, and they all hung up. A Tanqueray martini, extra dry. I gave him a little lesson in business. If this is sirloin, ...

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